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# Don’t worry them, worry for them — Kelford Labs Daily
- URL: https://kelfordinc.com/dont-worry-them-worry-for-them-kelford-labs-daily/
- Published: 2025-11-25T11:24:13.000Z
- Updated: 2026-01-18T15:22:05.000Z
- Description: And they’ll trust you more.
- Author: Joel Kelly
- Tags: care, confidence, credible, Daily Labs, fallacy, messaging, signal, trust, truth, Weekly Labs

> “If you tell me not to worry about anything, I will end up worrying about everything. But if you tell me what is worth worrying about, then I am more likely to drop the focus on side issues. And even on the critical issues, I will worry less once I know you are worrying for me.”  
>  
> — Peter Sandman, Responding to Community Outrage

If you want to worry someone, tell them *not* to worry.

If you want to *destroy* someone’s trust in you, tell them to *trust you*.

Why?

**Because we *shouldn’t have* to say those things, if they were true. Instead of having to *say* something, we could *demonstrate* it.**

We could *show* the person that there’s nothing worth worrying about, instead of telling them not to worry. We could act in a trustworthy manner, instead of insisting they trust us despite our behaviour.

Positive affirmations of what should be self-evident *always backfire*, and yet business owners and marketers do this sort of thing *all the time*.

**They say things like, “**[**We’re the best**](https://kelfordinc.com/kelford-labs-daily-youre-the-best/)**,” or, “**[**We’re honest**](https://kelfordinc.com/the-opposite-of-honesty/)**,” or, “**[**We’re not like other companies**](https://kelfordinc.com/better-to-be-different-kelford-labs-daily/)**.”**

Imagine you’re about to get in a car with someone and they tell you, “Don’t worry, I’m a *really good* driver. *Trust me*.”

How quickly would you get *out* of that car?

But imagine, instead, that they point out their fancy new snow tires. And before they move the car, they check their mirrors and blindspots.

Suddenly, our trust starts going up, not because they *told* us to trust them, but because they *acted* in a trustworthy manner.

**By showing us that *they’re worried about the right things*, we can *worry less*.**

So do this today:

Take a spin through your website. Read every major line, heading, and CTA, and ask yourself:

“Is this *telling* prospects to trust me?”

Are you saying, “Hop in, I’m a really good driver”?

Or, “Check out my safe car and driving record”?

**Are you telling them to trust you, or *showing them why they should*?**

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[***Kelford Inc.***](https://www.kelfordinc.com/) ***shows communicators the way to always knowing what to say.***