> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://kelfordinc.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Will you respond to this? — Kelford Labs Weekly - URL: https://kelfordinc.com/will-you-respond-to-this-kelford-labs-weekly/ - Published: 2026-08-27T11:06:33.000Z - Updated: 2026-08-27T11:06:32.000Z - Description: The art of not insisting. - Author: Joel Kelly - Tags: advertising, certainty, curiosity, failure, guarantee, messaging, mistake, questions, thinking, Weekly Labs, writing > “Reactance is so strong, in fact, that you can even tell *yourself* what to do. There’s an experiment where one group of people writes ‘I will’ twenty times and another group writes ‘Will I?’ twenty times. > > The ones who write it as a question are better at solving puzzles and display a greater intent to exercise than the ones who are, effectively, telling their future selves what to do.” > > — David Dylan Thomas, Design for Cognitive Bias I’m no psychologist, so I can’t state this for certain, but in my experience one of the strongest forces in marketing is pretty simple: It’s *spite*. Spite can get you to hurt yourself in an attempt to hurt someone else. Which takes *a lot.* But, again, not a psychologist, so grain of salt. This is relevant to marketing because notice how you feel when I tell you the following: **Kelford Inc. is *the best* marketing partner for expert advisors and *you’d be silly to work with anyone else*.** Isn’t it interesting how that backfires *immediately*? It feels gross to read, and you instinctively choose to disbelieve it. In fact, if that’s all you ever heard from me, you’d probably go out of your way to *avoid* working with us. **Even if it were true! (Which, I mean, it is, but I wouldn’t *say* that)** Because when someone tells us something *must* be true, or that we *must* do something, we have this natural response to go... “Really? Is that true? Let me think of all the reasons it isn’t...” We refuse to onboard the idea and instead fight against it. But, on the other hand, if someone says something *might* be true, or *asks you* if something is true or if you’ll do something, the natural response is to onboard it as if it *is true* and then decide how that feels. > “\[Writing\] exists at the intersection of the author’s subconscious and the reader’s response. > > — William Gibson, Distrust That Particular Flavor If I say, “You *have to* go for a run today,” your first reaction is probably, “No I don’t.” But if I ask, “*Will* you go for a run today?” your first reaction is probably closer to, “I don’t know, let me think about it...” **You may still end up deciding not to, but you thought about it, you didn’t dismiss it out of hand.** That’s just your regular, old “[reactance](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactance%5F%28psychology%29),” or the “you can’t tell me what to do” effect. But, in my opinion, it’s a close cousin to *spite*. Reactance can trigger spite when a business insists that you *must* work with it or else you’d be doing yourself a disservice. Or that you might even be making a mistake by working with anyone else. Even if the offending business *is actually the best option for you*, you’ll feel compelled to work with someone else. You’re hurting yourself, potentially, in an attempt to punish them. I bet you can already think of some examples. For me, and I’ll admit I’m extra sensitive to this sort of thing, it can manifest in marketing messages as seemingly harmless as, “This is what you’re missing,” or, “Don’t try \[XYZ Brand\], try us instead.” Or, “We’re your new favourite.” **It comes across as pushy, or presumptive, and I instinctively (if only subtly) reject or suspect it.** > “An advertiser suffered much from substitution. He said, ‘Look out for substitutes,’ ‘Be sure you get this brand,’ etc., with no effect. Those were selfish appeals. Then he said, ‘Try our rivals’ too’ — said it in his headlines. He invited comparisons and showed that he did not fear them. That corrected the situation. Buyers were careful to get the brand so conspicuously superior that its maker could court a trial of the rest.” > > — Claude C. Hopkins, Scientific Advertising Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI (maker of ChatGPT), [recently admitted](https://gizmodo.com/sam-altman-admits-its-going-to-take-a-long-time-before-ai-goes-mainstream-2000802418) he got the “timelines” for AI adoption wrong, in part because the economy has so much “inertia.” Turns out you can’t rearchitect *all the jobs* in an economy around a new technology overnight, even if you spend a trillion dollars. Good to know. And when you tell people something is inevitable (like AI taking over all the jobs), they react negatively. **Because no one likes being told what to do, or what they *must* do.** Yes, you can also see this playing out in geopolitics, but you don’t need me to explain that to you. When you tell people they *have* to do something, they’ll tend to find any way not to, even if it causes some pain in the meantime. Which means they may end up buying from someone else, just to avoid buying from the person who told them they had no other choice. So do this instead: **When you have the opportunity to tell someone about your business, and why it’s a great fit for them, turn it into a question:** Instead of, “You should,” try, “Would you?” Statements like, “Are you looking for a better way to handle \[problem\]?” instead of, “This is the only way.” “We help you solve \[issue\].” instead of, “We’re exactly what you need.” Or even, “Will you spend a bit of time today thinking about your marketing messages and how they can avoid triggering reactance or spite in your prospects?” Of course, you don’t have to. **But will you?** --- [***Kelford Inc.***](https://www.kelfordinc.com/) ***are content marketers for expert advisors. If you’re struggling with what to say and where to say it to attract your ideal clients,*** [***we’ll show you the way***](https://kelfordinc.com/contact/)***.***